Thursday 13 July 2023

The U-Boat Mystery Solved

An exclusive report by Pierre Martin for La Republique.
In early January 1965 this intrepid reporter was contacted by a Monsieur Richard Walhaus about a fascinating mystery from late 1945. A German U-Boat had been dispatched with secret treasures from the failing Nazi regime to the only allies they had left, Imperial Japan. After a little digging I found Monsieur Walhaus to be part of a yet unknown secret cabal of criminal genius’ and my interest was peaked. Not long after contacting me Monsieur Walhaus disappeared so I had to start digging. All clues pointed to a marine biology expedition to the tropical islands of Sitomeyang. But before that there were leads to follow up in New York.
On the evening before I set off I was sent by my esteemed editor on a fluff piece to interview an athlete, Maki Cartier, and the plot thickened. As Maki walked me to my car, having enjoyed a few wines over the course of the interview, a van pulled up and I was roughly bundled into the back of it - a sack put over my head. I had been kidnapped. The last I saw of the stunned Maki I pleaded for help, but what could a simple athlete do? Quite a bit apparently, Maki rallied a group of friends to come to my rescue. It was an eclectic bunch, Tina McShane the Irish Diplomat; Reuben Van Voorde the Belgian customs officer (who was reputed to be the best marksman in all the service); Lucian D’Auberge the wealthy cosmopolitan and his trusty butler Francois; Olivia Calderon race car driver and pilot extraordinaire; Algie Swinburne the plucky Brit photographer and finally the mysterious Russian defector, Sergei. I mention this group because they had a huge part in my rescue and my ability to write this article. The van took me to an industrial area of Paris, and there my torment began. I was questioned unrelentingly by the mysterious Madame Melisandre. A particularly large thug took advantage of my horrific weakness, very ticklish feet. They questioned me about Monsieur and Madame Walhaus, about the book “The One That Got Away” and my New York contact Dr Stephen Armstrong. Soon a rather forlorn dapper man was brought in and tied up in a corner, I later discovered this was the luckless Francois, butler to Lucien D’Auberge. I held on for all I could and then a ruckus broke out outside the warehouse. Thumps and bangs of a fight and then a gunshot. Soon a short stroppy Irish woman and an arrogant Belgian joined Francois in the corner of the warehouse. Things were looking grim.
Out of the dark came a sound, it was the van starting up. It had been parked inside the warehouse next to a table of card playing thugs. It screeched into life and smashed into the crates to the right of them, causing a cascade of detritus that laid some low. A fight ensued and I witnessed many brave people of the group take on the bad guys. The prisoners escaped and joined the fray. As the rescuing heroes dealt with the goons, Melisandre and her man bundled me into the back of a black Mercedes and made their escape. There was a short chase in the cars but we soon lost them, and apparently the driver of the chasing vehicle took a wrong turn. That was not to be the end of things as the group were a sharp bunch of investigators and they discovered that the organisation Madame Melisandre worked for (we now know as The Octopus) had a plane in an airfield to the south of Paris. Unfortunately I saw the lights of their cars arriving as we took off. Melisandre explained we were heading to Sitomeyang to see her boss. I felt that this information only doomed me.
Arrival in Selangit got me transferred to a ship in the harbour - I was able to pick up on some loose chatter from the sailors and learnt the boat was the MS Adonia, an ex navy minesweeper. I was tied up and locked in some crew quarters. My questioning was continued by an older German man who led the expedition. He was obsessed with an old painting “Brunnhilde Rides to Valhalla” which had been a particular favourite of Hitler’s. I finally pieced together the puzzle, it was the painting that was the treasure stowed on the U-Boat, but surely such a painting wasn’t worth all the effort of this expedition. Following a questioning session I had been left in the Radio room for the evening as the crew went to town to let off some steam before departing in the morning when I heard those unmistakable sounds of fighting again. This time there was lots of shouting and gunfire too. Soon the Irish woman (Tina McShane) and Lucian burst into the room and freed me. As we made our way to escape Tina ran down to the bridge to help the fight there. For some unknown reason she climbed the railing, flailed her arms and appeared to fall to the lower deck. At the stern Algie (the photographer) grappled with a sailor and just as it appeared he had won the Flare in his hand went off. We all stared stunned as it lit up the night sky and even from the middle of the harbour we could hear orders being barked in German.
From nowhere a short aggressive girl in a frogman suit (Olivia) made her way along the deck to the helipad. Soon the ship's helicopter spluttered into life. We finally dealt with the last of the sailors as boats with heavily armed thugs launched from the shore. They even had a police boat join them! We bundled ourselves into the escape boat and gunned it, just as the helicopter took to the air. What happened next was remarkable, the chopper buzzed the incoming boats distracting them and allowing our escape. Even under fire the magnificent pilot, Olivia Calderon, kept her nerve and passed so low it caused the boats to retreat. We headed for the headland to the north of the city, where we reached safety, only to witness the chopper go down after missing her landing spot. Olivia had to be rescued. The next day the adventure continued as we set off for the place where we thought the U-Boat had sunk. With a fishing boat to disguise our travel, the divers of the group quickly found the wreck. They reported sharks in the area but the brave group persisted. It took only a couple of dives before the news of the discovery of the safe came back up. Before we could recover anything the MS Donia hoved into sight over the horizon. Things got urgent. Three divers were inside the wreck and we couldn’t leave them. The ship turned straight towards us and launched her ship boats. As they approached, divers were seen entering the water and heading for the marker buoy. I recognised Melisandre on the prow of one of the ship boats, and we prepared for battle. This is where the best marksman in the Belgian Customs Service came into his own. He managed to pick off a couple of thugs and send them splashing into the water and even hit a scuba tank, upsetting quite a few of the boarders. It did not stop them unfortunately and as they arrived they let loose their secret weapon, the Disneuro Ray. This incapacitated Maki and allowed them to board. The battle was fierce but short and the boarders repelled. We even dispatched Melisandre into the sea. The Divers returned in good time to flank the Octopus ruffians and victory was ours. But Olivia and Lucian were not satisfied; they decided to chase the MS Adonia themselves and set off to board it. They discovered however that the machine guns were a very real threat so they satisfied themselves with chasing her off. Returning to the fishing boat we found Sergei investigating the painting of “Brunnhilde” that had been recovered from the U-Boat. It had secret plans and codes on the back which he told us were a design for an anti gravity “Vril” device. This would advance the research in this area by a decade.
It was at this time that we heard the unmistakable sound of a large helicopter. Soon we had a huge Soviet attack helicopter hovering over our fishing boat. Then a large explosion engulfed the disappearing MS Adonia and a very large dark submarine emerged from the depths in the strait. The helicopter's loudspeaker started up with Russian. No one could make it out, but it was harsh and sounded threatening. We turned to Sergei to see him hold aloft the painting as he leapt into the remaining ship's boat. He turned and said, “The gunner in the Helicopter sends his regards and wishes you all to throw your weapons overboard, and please lie down. On a personal note I would like to say - the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics thanks you all for your investigative services. Dasvidaniya comrades!” With that Sergei returned to the sub, we lost the painting, but we had solved The Mystery of the U-Boat!

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